Perfect
by singyoutosleep
Summary: Sometimes, silence doesn't mean no, it just means that someone is searching for the right answer. A look at Finn's silence when Rachel asks him if he sees Fireworks when he kisses her. 2.12 spoilers.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee, though I think that this would have made a really epic voiceover, RIB.

**Author's note: **It just needed to be written. R&R.

* * *

He feels something cool on his forehead and it wakes him out of his mono-induced slumber. It's like he's been hit by a freight train, he can't help but groan. Maybe this is the universe's way of getting back at him for pushing Quinn to cheat, he doesn't know. But he does know that when he wakes up and he sees Rachel hovering over him, concern written all over her face, the feeling that washes over him is one of intense relief. Like simply having her there will make everything better.

Of course she doesn't have any miracle cures for mono, so that's not really true, but that's what it feels like. "You don't have to do that," he assures her, as she runs her hand over the washcloth and he knows he should pull her hand away, but he doesn't. It feels good having it there.

"I'd do it for anyone," she says, but he knows that's a lie. If she would have done it for anyone, she'd of been in here when Quinn was here too, putting a washcloth on her head. But she wasn't. She was here for him and him only, and they both knew it. Things like this remind him of why he loved her so much. Why he _still_ loves her so much. He's known that he loved her since the moment she told him, "If you'd take a second and look at me, you'd realize that I'm the only person in your life who knows you and accepts you for who you are." Because it's true. She knows him better than he knows himself sometimes, and despite what it might look like at times, he knows her that well, too. He knows her better than he knows anyone else.

Which is why he knows she's going to ask about kissing Quinn. He gives her half-hearted reply to her question because honestly, his head is pounding. When she asks about what it felt like, he answers that it felt like fireworks. It's exciting and different and kind of dangerous, because he knows that she's with Sam and the thrill of being caught kind of turns him on a little.

He's not expecting her next question. Honestly, no, he doesn't see fireworks when he kisses her. He gets a whole different feeling with her, one that he's never gotten when he kissed other girls – and he's kissed every girl in school now, so he kind of knows what it is that he's talking about.

When he kisses her he feels… _dizzy_. His whole head spins and sometimes he has to grab onto her a little tighter because even if he feels like his knees are going to buckle, he doesn't want to stop. He remembers the first time they made out. It was the night after they lost regionals. They were all so depressed, but in a way, for him, it also didn't matter. He had gotten this big, huge weight off of his chest and that night, New Directions being over didn't matter. Because if nothing else, he had Rachel now. The way she felt pressed up against him in the hammock in her back yard, he would never forget it. Their kisses had been hot and desperate because they'd been holding back for so long and the only reason they'd stopped was because one of Rachel's fathers came outside and informed them that they were calling an early curfew because they'd been making out for two solid hours. It had gotten to the point where his lips were swollen so much from kissing her that they had started to _hurt_, but he would have kept doing it all night and all day if he could have.

And that's how he always felt with her, like one kiss was never enough. Her kisses were dizzying, intoxicating, every single one of his pores felt like it was alive, like it was on fire. Kissing her was like the biggest out of body experience of his life. He loved everything about her kisses. The way that her lip gloss tasted fruity, but she refused to tell him what it was, exactly, so he was always left wondering what it was that she really tasted like. The way that she seemed to know whether he wanted her to bite or tug or lick or suck on his lip every single time. He never got that feeling with anyone else. He didn't know how to describe it, but even just thinking about it was making his body shiver.

He got so caught up in his thoughts that he forgot that she asked him a question to begin with. It was only when he caught the sad look on her face that he remembered that she had asked him what kissing her felt like. It felt like… something he couldn't even describe.

She got up and told him that there was nothing left there for her. Finn instantly protested, adding an "I still-" but he wasn't ready to say it fully. "I still love you, Rachel," meant opening up his heart too much. It meant giving her an opportunity to hurt him anew. He wasn't read to be hurt yet. Because if she hurt him again, he would die.

It wasn't until she drew the curtain that the the word finally came to him. Perfect. Kissing her felt _perfect_.


End file.
